No, not the fluffy growed up kitten type, the type that rant on about how great frameworks are and how they will revolutionise the world!!!
Warning… if you are in any way sensitive about swear words, what follows will make you blush – a lot.
Fuck you all you ignorant twats!
If Java wasn’t bad enough with all it’s pretentious twatty followers and how “Java runs on every platform without recompilation”, and my personal favourite “the fastest PHP interpreter in the world is written in Java” we now have the up-coming .NET lovers
Oh, before I unload on .NET, the comment about the fastest PHP interpreter – this is called Resin, and with a prevailing wind and a muppet doing the testing, it can be faster on the same hardware. However the Doctor Devaint Corollary is “if writing decent code is too difficult, upgrade to the next Amazon instance type”
Right, .NET is shite – I was just updating an XP install and noticed .NET 3.5 Service Pack 1 at a gut wrenching 248MB. The reason for the real annoyance is really “HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF BACKWARD COMPATIBILITY YOU FUCKING MORONS!”
I wouldn’t be overly offended if I only had to install one .NET framework and that would handle all my poncy needs, but NO! I have to install version 1, version 1.1, version 2, version 3 and now version 3.5 – service pack 1! – according to my install history a whopping 612MB 428MB after install… I have been reliably informed that this is not accurate and educated accordingly (thanks Captain Hruk) however someone is lying:
Back when I was a developer you built a set of tools that supported your organisations development needs. tools that worked without question, that worked according to the requirements spec and documented interface. Then the bubble burst and we off-shored it all. Now we have shit code written by muppets using buggy interpretations of a whole army of needs making things more complicated and generally providing a product that fails a lot and is acceptable by the masses. This has to be the biggest wind up job creation scheme know to man!
Personally I think that if we see an “Unhandled exception” we should be able to sack the developer for gross ignorance, then hang draw and quarter them for theft of the exorbitant rates we have to pay them. If it is so fucking easy to create “quality” software, nothing should be “Unhandled” as this indicates the moron who put the thing together missed something, and in this new, shiny, “easy to use” world this should be impossible.
But, at least you can drag and drop a text box onto a web page… I think that may be a plus.
PHP may be slow at times, however it does not suffer from cascade failure. It can suffer from moron developers, but only slightly more than most other languages, and anyway, if you have shite quality control, then you deserve everything you get. And unlike .NET and Java it is also very tricky to completly hose an operating system in PHP (you can do it, but you have to really try).
Oh, and if I had the right 248MB C++ ‘framework’ installed on every operating system, I could also run my standard C++ executables on any platform without recompiling them, so go to hell framework boy.
One final thing… Java install 148MB, dot net intall: 428MB… all the same stuff in PHP: 6MB
The doctor has spoken.
