Dr Deviant

In this article on the Guardian website Barack Obama mentions his “disappointment” over the Scottish decision to release the pan-am bomber.

Poor diddums. There are a few points though that have aggravated me slightly.

I have been on holiday for the last couple of weeks and I go back on Monday, but already I am not sleeping because of fear and dread of the mess I will be going back to – The two faced hypocrisy, the double standards and the shite they call “Communication”… but then I read this shite in the Guardian and I think to myself… what a wonderful world… oh, no, hang on, didn’t mean to get all “Louis Armstrong” on you, sorry about that.

Point 1a. When Gordy makes a phone call, there is a press release… hmm… ok, When Barack receives this phone call they issue a press release… were is this going to end… When Gordy phones his missus is there a press release? What about the bowel motions of the leader of this great nation, I don’t seem to remember the press office issuing anything on the state of the porcelain after Gordy’s trip to India (that’s a curry related link there – just so you know )

Point 1b. Although the US press release understands the fact it’s up to the Scottish, Barack is “disappointed” about the release of Megrahi. Ok, fine, but why is this newsorthy? Well, if one is disappointed, then fair enough, but if you are “disappointed”, well this is a different kettle of fish. The quotes around the word mean that “although I say the words, you know what I mean really (nudge nudge, wink wink) but I’m not allowed to say ‘Fucking Outraged’ in case I offend you”. So, does this mean that Barack is having a bit of a poke at Gordy? Well back off USA, he’s our village idiot, and only we can take the piss. (Oh, Ironically he is Scottish, and didn’t I read somewhere about an oil deal with Libya… nah, must be coincidence)

Point 2. the ’special’ relationship. Gordy mentions that this is “as strong as ever”, but Barack didn’t mention it at all… ok, what special relationship is this? is it the one where we do whatever the US says? Well, that’s not every special for us because we are a piss-ant little nation with no spine in the leadership, and it’s certainly not special for the US because they expect every nation to capitulate to their interpretation of democracy. If the relationship was really ’special’ then they would send us their passport information, as well as us having to send them all of ours.

Point 3. Ed Davey is an arse. He said “al-Megrahi caused the outrage that has crossed continents and damaged our relationship with our closest ally, America.”… Hmm.. “closest Ally, America”… You fuckwit, Isn’t our closest ally actually Europe? Or at worst France?

Point 4. Nicholas Watt and Ewen MacAskill (the writers of the article), you are sexists arses. Spokesman and Spokeswoman? Really? Did you miss the memo about the gender neutral “Spokesperson” tag now? I think we could probably 90’s it up a bit though. Like the progression of “Chairman” -> “Chairperson” -> “Chair” this means the new word should be “Spokes” – how blingin is dat?