Dr Deviant

Apparently, according to the BBC, the gender pay gap in the city is ’shocking’.

Oh no, not this again.

I thought we had dealt with the annoying and completely irrelevant point of the pay gap for women. And blacks, and the disabled, and well, I thought we had been though the lot and fair-ificated it all… seems we are slacking again… but why? Are we all just sexists? Did we just do it all in the first place to shut everyone up, hoping no-one would check in the future? Or, is there a reason why women get paid less.

Where I work, my female boss gets paid 100% more than I do – is that fair? Sure she has a great pair of breasticles, but is that really enough? Well, technically she is my boss, so you would expect her to be paid more, isn’t this just a complete load of demographics? On the one hand the BBC article say that the disparity is because there are not so many women reaching the higher positions… this would suggest that the survey performed by the Equality and Human Rights Commission is a complete load of wank. The argument is no longer that women are being passed over for men in the same role, but that women are not being paid enough because, well, I’ll skweem and skweem until I get a pay rise.

I bet that if you find a role that requires general luvy-duvyness, hand holding, wearing less clothing, talking about make-up, cooing over babies, or gossiping about how Dave and Mildred are now sleeping together, then I bet you will also notice a higher than 50% smattering of women in that niche area.

Lets look at some of the issues as I see them.

Multitasking… All women say they do it all the time, and that men are incapable of it… well, it may not actually be a good thing according to the Register relating to a recent stanford report. Sure it’s cool to be thinking about whether you have a suitable amount of cleavage exposed, the weather, what you are going to cook tonight, if your make-up needs refreshing as well as the press release you are about to send – but how much better would that press release be if you concentrated 100% on that.

Nicer place to work… Well, since the introduction of women into my workplace the scenery is a lot better, but that’s about all that’s good. Conversation has dropped, rules about conduct sky-rocket, productivity is in the gutter, and there is a global recession on for god’s sake… You cannot tell me women had no hand in that.

Maternity leave… Ok, my biggest bug-bear. Either we are equal rights, or we are not. Either men and women are equal or they are not… well, guess what… generally they are not. Physically they are different, mentally they are different, emotionally they are different, on what are men and women equal? In an equal world, men would have equal right regarding child care. The courts would weight the case for custody equally when people get divorced. Men would also get 6 months off work at full pay to help look after their new born… but on what planet is this acceptable? Look at the consequence of the converse… That huge oil deal, that huge financial buy, that signing of property rights… what would happen if a company said, “Sorry, can you wait 6 months as the CEO is off on Parental Leave?” Well, women can “promise” that they won’t go and have kids I suppose, but it’s illegal to even ask that, and you certainly cannot enforce it or sack a woman for not turning up. Hell I reckon it’s even illegal these days to temporarily put a man in a woman’s role in case of ‘the message’ this would send.

Support groups… ok, my second biggest bug-bear. In the diverse and inclusive company that I work in we have a “woman’s network”. We were never allowed to have a “Men’s network” as this is sexist and elitist, but a woman’s network isn’t? Sure they let men in, but their mandate is “Supporting women in the workplace”… erm… hello!! Now, women either need “supporting” because they are incompetent/inferior and this is positive discrimination, or this is a simple case of sexism against men.

At the end of the day, sure, there are butch lesbians that can carry a landrover up a ladder and would make excellent builders. Sure, there are raging homo blokes that are ‘colour aware’ and make excellent hair dressers. But are roles really that biased? If someone agrees to a performance contract and meets it, they should be entitled to the rewards it brings. Just because there are not so many women in the higher echelons of the world is this really a problem? Not all men get to the top either but this is deemed fair.

I also seem to remember a very awesome female prime minister, but to be fair in today’s world, would you be comfortable with a person who is psychologically unhinged 5 days per month in charge of the largest arsenal of nuclear weaponry on the planet – there will never be a woman president of the United States of America.