While the brief moment where I was about to stab you in the eye with a credit card did almost make my list today, this particular incident was a rather over officious cow in the procurement department wanting us to return laptops “for the benefit of the company as a whole” and “While they have been lax in enforcing this in the past, the process is clearly defined and will be enforced going forward.”

Lets just say we are in email tennis mode and I’m up to the point where I’m dusting off the double barrelled dr-deviant arsenal…

I would just like top point out a couple of things:

• We didn’t purchace the items from you so you cannot have them back
• We didn’t purchace the items from you so you cannot have them back

While I appreciate these may technically be the same point, I feel that it is important enough to warrant saying it twice as you seemed to have completely missed the slightly less subtle mention of it in my last mail.

Ah, you gotta love Red Dwarf.