This was sent to me today… the donkey has not yet been flogged enough.

Requirements are steganographic in nature.

What the hell is this all about. I don’t have a section on the site for “Bollocks”, but thats where this one would go.

Wikipedia references to this as a “second generation” of web services. Services by the way, that were developed in the late 90’s (yes the 1990’s - the 20th century).

So, what happened? Did someone just decide that the old 1.4-r6 version of the World Wide Web was not good enough, and in collaboration with Microsoft snuck in a change request that the world knew nothing about for 4 years? Where is the sign-off!!

Does the Web not change constantly? or at least every second? So should we not be up to Web 1,210,075,320.0 (or even higher, but then the Internet was born before the advent of the computer clock epoch!!)

Next the Internet will become a product, and we will be charged a licence fee to use it!

Sometimes coining a phrase is like wearing a mullet: It seems like a good idea at the time, but in 5 years you really don’t ever want to be known for sporting it.

The government is finalising its plans to stamp out discrimination across the face of the earth.

The deadline for the legislation is October 1st 2006, and although a European directive, some countries seem to have been allowed to get an exemption. Not us Brits, oh know, the spineless twat running the country obviously feels this is a good thing.

You may feel that my mood is for discrimination and that the legislation is a bad thing - this is not true. I think that discrimination should be scrapped, however the way things are going its kinda like socialism - Everyone is equal, but some people are more equal than others.

The Age Discrimination Legislation fundamentally states that you cannot directly discriminate based on age (for example you are 40, and we want a younger guy) or indirectly (you’ve only been working here 10 years and you need to have been here for 40). There are exemptions however. For a start the minimum retirement age is moving, but this is allowed, I want to retire aged 35, but I can’t because the government say no and there is nothing I can do about it.

I watched a program yesterday presented by Tom Shakespear about disability and the discrimination that still exists today. While on the one hand his argument holds water, he then shot himself in the foot with a rant about disabled parking. On the one hand prejudice and discrimination should be stamped out… oh, unless its in the benefit of the person moaning. I, as an able bodied person, am ‘not allowed’ to park in a disabled bay - Is that not discriminatory.

Look at the ramifications. If you are on a project that has tight deadlines, you have to discriminate against the slow, the stupid and the apathetic. Or, you could let the project fail - at least you gave people the opportunity.

Back off Brussells.

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives will. Now, for the first time we have mathematical proof that explains why this is in fact true.

As we all assume, knowledge is power.

knowledge  =  power

And as we all know, time is money.

time  =  money

As every engineer knows, power = work / time.

power  =  work  /  time

Substituting for power and money we get:

knowledge  =  work  /  money

Rearranging so we solve for money, we get:

money  =  work  /  knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make, consequently, your manager makes more that you do.

… my arse.

I watched the second half of the England - Ecuador match at the weekend, and I still have my firm belief in football.

Football is a game played by tossers, supported by tossers, and commentated by tossers.

I was pretty pissed off when, a few years back now, a pub full of Portugal supporters, including women and children, was attacked by English 'fans' because of the outcome of a game.

I was also enraged when one of the players was asked about the really crap performance England had in there first game (where they won 1-0 from an own goal) and they said that it was the end result that counted.

This is crap. Its a fucking GAME! 22 blokes get together to kick a pigs bladder around an open space.

Where is your national pride! I hear you scream. Fuck national pride, any nation that supports the bullying of the weak, wanton violence and mindless destruction, can kiss my arse. It was wrong when we did it to the native Americans, the South Africans and the native Australians, it was also wrong when Hitler wanted to do it. Its still wrong now.

Mind you its good that we support a sport that we are shite at, kinda like siding with the underdog, but then lets review:

• Football - crap
• Cricket - crap
• Rugby - crap
• Athletics - crap
• Underwater basket weaving - moderate to crap

And finally on the note of national pride; When the 'English' team consists of only English members, then there may something to be proud of. Something that regional teams should bear in mind because when it was a local event, it was also a family event, and a real sport.

They say a picture says a thousand words…

Now I don’t want to start a riot or anything… but I have just heard a rumour that the government is looking to outsource the british pensions industry to India. I wonder if they know that outsourcing is no longer the cool in-thing.

I got a letter the other day that says that when I retire I will be entitled to £86 per week (in todays money) from my state pension. Wahoo… that’s just so much beer. I wonder when I will retire, since they are moving the retirement age steadliy over the next 10 years… I may be 80 by the time I get there… I am expecting that my life of excess will have gotten to me way before then.

This beats the crap out of “I wish my wife was this dirty” and “Clean me!".

Some people have too much time on their hands… some people are also cursed with access to sharp objects, large citrus and a very patient cat…

This my spawn a new section (Too much time on your hands, not the fitting of crash test equipment to small furry mammals - although…

I was asked this a while ago, and then again today. Basically the question is “If global warming is causing the icebergs to melt, and 95% of an iceberg is below the water already, then how can this cause sea levels to rise so much?"
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