No not the great Facebook conspiracy – not yet anyhow. This one concerns a certain companies dedication to quality. Now, Aquila have a ‘client’ magazine called “Flying high”. This is funny in itself because it was the other release title for “Airplane the movie” which, as you know is a comedy based on a disaster where the people in control have no fuckin’ clue what the hell is going on. Sound familiar?

Anyhow, in this magazine Aquila attempt to show you how good they are with ’stories’ about customers they haven’t finished annoying yet, and have a whole load of sales blurb about how great their product is considering it was conceived in the 70’s. The magazine also comes with a lovely covering letter explaining the up-and-comings. This months was a peach.

An entire page dedicated to quality, and the explanation. a snapshot taken on a sneaky cameral phone I believe… can’t be corporate headquarters?

And the covering letter, which must also have gone though the industrious cycle of writing, checking, approval, sign-off… etc…

oops…

BBC NEWS | Changes in murder laws proposed.

Damn we are getting liberal. At least this currently rules out “He pulled out at the junction and I felt ’seriously wronged’ so I axe manslaughtered his arse Milud”

This does open up one really interesting possibility though… Should the law be passed, Aquila should seriously worry about retribution from all their client base… It may be worth 7 years with probation.

There is a superb drama on TV at the moment “Criminal Justice” that puts the British justice system in an interesting light when you compare it to the TV interpretations of the US version of ‘law’. I’m up to episode 3 where the defence tried to argue self defence against the wishes of the defendant.

Given the brief exposure I have had to the British Justice System I think it may be scarily accurate. It should be enough to stop idiots offending in the first place.

Oh, that’s interference of a corporate image by the way!

I just saw this…

Wasn’t quite sure of the logo, but I thought of a few… Oh, if you get a little stuck, the Urban Dictionary may help.

And my personal favourite…

For a large company who wrote their own software, force you into one supported hardware configuration, enforcing only one supported software layout and who built the delivery mechanism into their own system, you’d think that delivering software would not cause that much of a problem.

Also being an ISO9001/2 registered company you’d think quality would be high on their agenda… but alas, the ISO registration just ensures that business processed are there to delivery quality to the company, not their customers.

Look at the Aquila business model though:

• Expensive development charged to the customer
• Deliver crap and charge the customer
• Fix the crap and charge the customer

Where is the incentive to delivery quality first time. It’s not like they have to worry about competition either.

The following”early design” logo was initially rejected as it was a little too direct.

Internet Explorer 7 is a rather large deliverable from the microsoft corporation that has significant improvement on Internet explorer version 6… alledgely. Anyhow, As a corporation we are somewhat compelled to use it… So we ask aquila about their support model and IE7.

“We are reliant on Oracle,” so the reponse goes. “we cannot support it until they do.”

“… and once we do support it, it will only be [insert your version + 1]“

Fuckers. If I win the euro millions, I’ll buy the company and sack them all.

This page falls into the latter category. and is a similar vein to the quality take off, I’m gonna add a little “chefs special sauce”.

Here it is.

A similar approach to data security is taken within aquila.

Basically, with nothing more than a toothpick you can completely wipe out an entire corporations pensions and investment data… but given that it is that simple, the paranoid burglar/thief/anarchist will constantly wonder if it is a little ‘too‘ simple.

Requirements are steganographic in nature.

http://uk.gamespot.com/xbox/action/battleengineaquila/index.html

It explains a lot, although I feel that a score of 6.7 is a little high, and I think the summary of “fair” may also be a little on the strong side. Maybe these are scores for the game though.

More on this to follow I feel.